An ideal therapist.. What do you mean by an ideal therapist? Does an “ideal therapist” actually exist?
A therapist is someone who undergoes formal training in counseling and psychotherapy. No matter what their training has been, it is important to recognize that therapist's are human after all. With the same emotions, irrational thoughts, mood swings and their highs and lows. Just because a therapist is trained doesn’t mean they always have their reactions and emotions under control. In our imperfect, chaotic world, there isn’t in fact an “ideal therapist”; there are ethics, legalities and structured frameworks that help make the therapist-client relationship safe and free of biases. And that is the beauty of it. A lot of therapists themselves go through painful and stressful times which lead them to becoming these impactful beings with their own experiences, knowledge, exposure and background. This is why ethical boundaries are so important and are always followed. They help clients to receive therapy in a non-judgmental and empathetic manner. These are for the client’s benefit as well as the therapist's. These may include but are not limited to- maintaining confidentiality, not establishing a relationship outside of therapy, not taking sessions for near and dear ones and several others. Let’s talk about them below.
Being biased due to the client’s choices, opinions and nature can be harmful. If, as a client, you feel like there is some bias, strong opposition, or direct firm advice from the therapist’s side, communicate that and try a different therapist if things don’t improve. Becoming too friendly or meeting a therapist outside of sessions is not something that can be expected by clients as ultimately the role played by their therapist is purely of a facilitator to guide and help the client find their own answers. It works the other way round too; one doesn’t seek help from a friend who is a therapist. They should take referrals of a trusted therapist as bias can occur at every step. Except during legal requirements, there is 100% confidentiality shared between the client and the therapist. This helps sessions to be a safe and non-judgemental space where as a client, one can truly open up, be vulnerable and go through their guided healing journey.
Ethics and legalities are definitely important to follow. There may be areas where boundaries blur, like clients reaching out through text or calls outside the session; seeing their therapist at a restaurant; offering a small thank you gift while terminating therapy and many more. How a therapist reacts ethically in these situations will determine the therapeutic relationship. In the end, it is the therapist’s judgement and intentions about their client that will pave the way for an ideal journey that suits the client the best. Every client and their relationship with their therapist is unique. There are good and bad traits of therapists but there isn’t an ideal therapist and there never will be.
A therapist does not play the role of an expert; they provide authentic facilitation practicing honesty and integrity like no one else. They will help the client reconnect with their inner self, help in self-realisation and to find their own solutions. The client just needs guidance to gain insight and awareness of their inner critical voice, habituated thought patterns and what methods are best for them to cope in a given situation, and this is what ideally is done in therapy. Therapists like to celebrate small joys with you at every step as it symbolises growth in the client as well as the counselor. They grow and learn together! Another aspect that makes the therapeutic relationship effective is when a therapist goes to therapy themselves to deal with their personal issues to ensure they are not projected on clients.
People may have the tendency to go to one therapist, have one session, and judge the entire mental health institution state based on that. What one needs to understand is that it takes time to find the right therapist because therapy styles, rapport establishment, therapy approach, fees, accessibility are different. It is not a one size fits all. Psychoeducation can help individuals be aware that, one person however qualified, may not be the right fit for them. Therapy is not a quick fix; it needs consistency and open mindedness on both ends with the right therapist for them. And that is what forms an ideal relationship with a therapist!
Lastly, yes a therapist is imperfect, has flaws and is completely human. But working on themselves, taking responsibility, and constantly putting efforts to show up and conduct more effective sessions is what is important. The ideal therapist in fact is the one who is willing to work on their flaws, limitations, bias and the one who knows there isn’t an ideal!
About the Author
Hi! I’m Ria, a student studying Bachelors in Psychology in my final year. Other than studying, learning and researching about this field, writing about it is also my passion! I love to read, have authentic conversations, and dance my way through life. I hope to learn and practice counselling in an ethical way to help people with their mental health and look at life with more purpose and joy
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