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Writer's pictureThe Secret Ingredient

Do you even bond?

Updated: Jul 27, 2023

Let’s be real. Corporate team bonding exercises rarely end up being about the team or about bonding. It would make for a great listicle or a comic sketch if you made a list of types of employees at a team bonding session. There’s one who cannot take his eyes off the pretty trainer, who is instructing the group for the third time on how to play the game she has planned. There’s one who keeps looking at everyone else to make sure he is doing better than them. There’s one pair of work-BFFs who yap their way through the entire session. There’s one who does the bare minimum, all the while wishing for the next smoke break. There is the team lead who is equally bored as everybody else but has to hide her yawns behind fake coughs. And then there is the unofficial couple making eyes at each other across the room that everyone pretends not to notice but is going to gossip about later over lunch. In short, hardly anyone is engaged in the session. The trainer tells herself that she is doing it for the money and takes off to pursue another capitalist assignment.


So why do we still insist on it? Why are corporates obsessed with bonding their skeptical teams over silly games and puzzles, meditation, and team outings?


Well, their intentions are pure. A well-bonded team works with coordination, assimilates a new member seamlessly, has each other’s backs in case of emergencies, has very low amounts of conflict, and ultimately churns out good performance. So, there are ways to make team bonding less boring and more effective.


1. Be democratic:

Involve the team in planning the session, including the time and date, the goal, and the activities. This gives them power, and ensures they engage in the session actively and responsibly. Keep the team size small enough so that each person’s opinion is heard out.


2. Read the room:

There are different personalities in every team and each person may not be stimulated by the same activity. Make sure activities are planned for every kind. You may even explicitly talk to members about the diversities in the group so there is more empathy for each other.


3. Have a specific aim:

Through a discussion with the team, get an idea of their strengths and weaknesses as a team and decide which specific aspect of teamwork shall be focused on in the session. Invite a resource person who’s an expert in the area.


4. Allow for time to open up:

The business has deadlines, but it takes time for people to express inner feelings in a group. When the focus is psychological well-being of the group rather than concrete skill-training, a hurried session will do more damage than good.


5. Reward:

Team bonding should obviously not reward anyone individually. But a reward for the entire team in the form of appreciation or some perks will motivate them to participate.


However, there is also good news for teams going through old, run-of-the-mill sessions. A shared experience that is equally horrible for everyone actually brings them together, albeit just for the purpose of ranting. It has been shown that people who face a tough situation together start trusting each other more, even if they were strangers to begin with. Team members form their little inside jokes from conversations about the session. Humour is known to be morale-boosting. And gossip, when it is aimed at an outside entity and serves the group as a whole, works positively as well.


There is reason to rejoice after all, if your team is united in their displeasure at the manager’s mandate of attending bonding sessions. It is, at least, united. Remember the teammates in ‘Chak De…’ who were initially a quarreling pot with mutual distrust and jealousy oozing from every side but who felt way closer to each other when they united and fought against the creeps? Or an example closer home: have you never felt an instant affection for someone who hates the same person as you do? There!


This is not to glorify negativity among employees. It simply means that unavoidable shared feelings of frustration or disappointment towards the management may serve to make a team more cohesive. Humans are more pro-social towards people that they are emotionally attached to. If you and a teammate both dislike your boss, you are more likely to be supportive and helpful to each other!

So, if your team has a democratic, innovative, real bonding session, we envy you. But even if your team does not bond over popping balloons or hunting for treasure, fret not. It may bond better over tea, discussing what a waste of time the session was.


(For both the balloon-popping kind and the innovative kind of team bonding sessions, contact The Secret Ingredient http://www.tsimentalhealth.com/corporate-connect)


About the Author:

Adwaita, is a psychologist and PhD scholar with experience in design and delivery of psychometric assessments, 360 degree feedback surveys, and other HR tools. She has worked with clients from various industries to provide elegant solutions for recruitment, promotions and leadership identification. She provides services in tool construction, research consultancy, content writing and translation, with a focus on social sciences. Strong analytical skills, clinical exposure and diverse industrial experience make her an excellent assessor and consultant with a holistic perspective.

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